One of the things one
learns very fast after having your firstborn, is that nothing happens ‘just
quickly’. You don’t ‘quickly’ run into a shop, you don’t ‘quickly’ feed your
baby before leaving the house and you don’t ‘just take a quick shower’.
The latter is not possible due to all the bodily changes,
creams and special care needed, especially after a C-section. ‘Quickly’
feeding…well, that’s simply just not up to you!
The one thing you definitely don’t do is a quick shopping
spree. My rude awakening was when I tried to do my first monthly grocery
shopping with a six week old baby. The first wrong assumption I had was that a
snug ‘n safe (mobile safety car chair that fits into a pram) fits onto a
shopping trolley. If you also wondered about that, the answer is NO! Some
grocers have their own chairs fitted onto the trolley and, because they are for
public use, they are usually gross. So, there I was having to push a trolley
with a baby sitting in a snug ‘n safe and pulling another one, with the
groceries in, behind me. Please take a moment to visualise this and add the
anxiety of maybe having to feed , change a diaper or trying to calm down a
screaming baby in an unfamiliar public place, as an undercurrent.
The bread and fresh produces isles went fairly well – baby
fast asleep. ‘No problem’, I thought, ‘Make way for super mom! Eat your heart
out Lara Croft!” I felt my coat suddenly becoming too hot when baby woke up
before entering the next isle and she was not happy. Luckily this blew over
fairly quickly and we could move on.
Next I met the human obstacles I would keep on encountering in almost
every isle from now on.
Firstly there were the grandparents, each with a trolley –
one with a toddler in and one with groceries. ‘Great’, I thought, “At least I
would get some sympathy/ empathy from them’ Alas, not even eye contact and
believe me, two people attached to two trolleys moving together very slowly can
take up a lot of space (Please remember the drive caused by aforementioned
anxiety.).
In the baking isle we met a lady with a crutch and trolley,
suddenly I felt guilty about feeling very sorry for myself. At least I got a
sympathetic glance from her. We would
cordially move past each other in every second isle without any grudges.
And there she was – the REAL super mom. Her peaceful baby
hanging in a sling in front of her motherly bossom, serenity radiating, she
floats past and remarks ‘Always a mission, isn’t it?’ ‘Really?’ I thought. She
did not seem to struggle with this at all. It looked like she had more
well-behaved offspring at home, probably doing chores while singing ‘A spoon
full of sugar helps the medicine go down…”.
In the sweets isle we encountered the fat lady. She did not
sing. I was well pleased with this. She was, however too heavy to stand and had
to be pushed in a wheel chair by her scrawny partner/ husband. She did not
notice us at all, while she was ordering him which kinds of sweets to put into the
basket. We squeezed past.
We/ I, properly sweating by this time – two trolleys can
become very heavy-, also got stern frowns from a very well dressed career
woman, each time we passed. Career…hmmm…something I used to have…’can’t eat it
though.
Just as I thought we managed to overcome the most
intimidating obstacles of this course, we faced the till. More importantly we
faced the will operator. After this exhausting journey, I met the grimmest
looking person I have seen in a long time. She mumbled something inaudible
thrice while glaring at me. I still don’t know what she said, I simply answered
‘yes’ after the third time. She sighed. By now I was not in the mood for
someone else’s mood. So, I tried to make conversation after our unfortunate
introduction. ‘I see your name is XXX. What does it mean?’ More mumbling, so I
asked again. ‘It comes from the word xxx, which means friendly,’ she said. ???!
Seriously?! Before I could think I spat out, ‘‘Well, you sure are not friendly
today’. More glaring. I could feel a blush creeping up my cheeks. Not the best
line, I know. Also not the way to brighten up a crack pot. ‘Gmf’, as Garfield
would put it.
We made it to the car. My baby was fast asleep and this time
we had a peaceful journey home. I think I was allowed to level 2 after making
it through this day’s course, despite the loss of points in the last quarter.
